Gone Missing

My younger son, Connor, is a musical theater major at James Madison University.  He is very, very talented.  He has an amazing singing voice, and he dances very well.  Tonight, I saw another play that he has worked on.  Gone Missing, it was a one-act show, based upon things that people have lost.  It seems kind of a thin concept, but the show worked.  Connor tends to be a featured dancer in the shows he is in, and he was chosen to choreograph this show.  I know nothing of dance; but to me, the choreography was good.  It was interesting in that it was the first show of his that he and I got to watch together.  Usually, he is on stage, and I am in the audience.  Tonight, we sat together.  I could feel him wince a few times when people made mistakes.  I have to say, I was unaware of the mistakes, but he, of course knows exactly how everything should go.  All in all, the show was a success.  The audience liked it, the feel was good, and they will fix all of their mistakes.  It is nice to see Connor becoming a man--he runs a huge course load, and his days, with classes, rehearsals, and homework, tend to run from about 8:00 am until midnight.  But at the end of the night, after we went out to get something to eat, he pointed out to me that I had a Bishop Ireton magnet on my car, and a William & Mary dad decal on my car, but nothing that spoke of him.  I was caught a bit aghast, in that I have been down to see him three times this semester, while I have yet to make it up to Pittsburgh to see his brother, Dylan, who is in his first semester of grad school.  Caught off guard because it really seemed to bug him, if only slightly.  He tends to be competitive of parental attention and love.  I have told him over and over that parental love doesn't divide.  It is not finite: I don't have to take from my stores of affection for him to love Dylan, or the reverse.  I will admit, I was a bit annoyed as I drove off, heading home for another leg of one of my Fairfax to Harrisonburg single day round trips.  I have made three of them this semester: once, his wi-fi wasn't working, so I went down and bought a new router and got that set up; once, when vacuums were on sale at Walmart, I bought one and brought it down, and we put it together; and tonight.   This does not include the Summer trip down to the new apartment where we put together Ikea furniture, and swore death to the Swedes.  I volunteered for each of these trips, and made them gladly.  I was not coerced, guilted, or swindled into doing any of them.  They have always been worth the trip.  So I was a bit annoyed that my not having a sign of my pride for him on my car bugged him.  I had one on my previous car, which was totalled on 66 a few months back.  I stumbled upon the William & Mary decal, which I had bought over a year ago, and just hadn't put on my old car.  But still, I have to admit, deep down, that it was nice, in a way, that this accomplished young man, who is just about ready to spread his wings and take on the world, still wants his dad to tell the world how proud he is of his son.  That as he is moving into manhood, and needs me less and less, it seems, he still needs me.  Just for the record, about 15 minutes before I wrote this, I went online and ordered a JMU Dad decal for my car.  I also ordered a Pitt Dad decal.  Paternal love doesn't divide.  It multiplies.